so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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