so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
