Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize