It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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