is your mom at the bar?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
