so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
