you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
