She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
