wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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