It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
