this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
