Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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