that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
