i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
