my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You can make out without kissing
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.