Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
