plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize