I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
