I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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