He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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