I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
