Im at strip club and am horny
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize