I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
