where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
