Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
