remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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