they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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