I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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