I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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