Ambien. No doubt about it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
