It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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