Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
