I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
