if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You ate ashes out of my bong
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
