i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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