Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
