Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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