Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
