just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Can you bring me the toilet please
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious