Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.