omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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