I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
