Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We are all done wearing pants today
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
