"it" just moved
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize