i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
