I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
