Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
