I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I need to stop coming to work sober
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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