I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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