I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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