try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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