sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize