i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
