I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
