4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
