i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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