If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
