thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
