I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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