So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
