All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
now i know why i became what i already was.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
